I could easily jump in on my work right now, but I want to blab this out before the words flutter away!
Maybe it's just me, but it seems as if so many relationships around me are smoldering out and people are breaking up, getting divorced, and leaving behind the ones they proclaim to (at least at one point have) loved dearly. I won't point scolding fingers or drop names like bombs, but it just seems to be happening with such a high frequency for many of my friends recently. It's almost like it is a virus spreading its vile nature around and making lives miserable! I wish I could squash it out and zap away its powers to make people hurt, lonely, and destroy relationships. I know I don't have super powers to do that, though! (I say "relationships" meaning both intimate and platonic... losing/drifting apart from a close friend can hurt just as much as it does with a significant other.) I’ll put it out there for everyone to know: I’m always going to be there for my friends, those closest to me, and even those who just seem like they need someone.
I’ve got little actual relationship experience, having only dated two people, and both instances were not fleeting puppy love that lasted for a little pinpoint in time, like many school-age relationships do. But, I do know a lot about what it feels like to lose a friend (actually, MANY friends – life has a tendency to send everything adrift in its ocean), have a family member die, endure heartbreak, be unwanted by those who should want you (*nods to my dad’s side of the family*), and struggle to fill the aching gaps left in the path of something tight-knit like a relationship or a friendship that fell to pieces. Granted, I know that not all things are meant to last. Even in my peculiar brain, I know that some people aren’t meant to be together, some friendships are bound to fizzle out, and not everyone in your family will love you (despite the common thought of “I love you. I have to love you because we’re family”). It is these icky trials and tests that make us human, define who we are, and force us to feel the entire range of emotion.
I’ve always had a sort of unwritten rule that goes along the lines of things said in confidence, in secrecy, or in private to a close friend, or lover (now that I’ve got a love bug of my own), should remain confidential, secret, or private even after there’s been a falling out or after the world finds a way to end the niceness of being close to someone. I honestly think that people shouldn’t go spurting out such things, even if you’re no longer friends or close together because it is just wrong to break the trust that was there. But, with this recent massive flood of relationships teetering and breaking apart I witness more and more instances of people saying horrible things, divulging top-secret tidbits, being slanderous, and even leaving behind all sense of morality just to stab someone they once loved in the back, to “get even” for being left behind. (I’ve got a whole other story involving my previous relationship on this topic, but that’s for another day.)
It truly saddens me to see people miserable after something like a breakup happens, and it irks me to know that some people can be so cruel as to shatter another person’s well-being with such harsh words… but I know it happens. I see it often.
Maybe it is just me, but I see this relationship bug infecting people particularly around the summer time. It might be because most of my buddies, pals, peers – whatever you want to call them – are still revolving around a school calendar. Every year as the summer creeps in and warms our skin, it seems like people take that opportunity to create close relationships, but also begin losing other ones, possibly due to the fact that people are moving away, going to a different school, seeking new employment, or whatever it may be. But, that’s just my little observation.
With all of that jibber-jabber being said, I am thankful to say that Josh and I have avoided this relationship bug and its viral tendencies, and we are contentedly happy and aren’t soiling each other with mud-slinging or broken hearts. It is a great thing to have someone to provide stability in this massive drifting ocean. I just hope everyone else can find that, even if it involves becoming the “crazy cat lady” (*nods to Mom and her love for her fur-babies*).
Maybe it's just me, but it seems as if so many relationships around me are smoldering out and people are breaking up, getting divorced, and leaving behind the ones they proclaim to (at least at one point have) loved dearly. I won't point scolding fingers or drop names like bombs, but it just seems to be happening with such a high frequency for many of my friends recently. It's almost like it is a virus spreading its vile nature around and making lives miserable! I wish I could squash it out and zap away its powers to make people hurt, lonely, and destroy relationships. I know I don't have super powers to do that, though! (I say "relationships" meaning both intimate and platonic... losing/drifting apart from a close friend can hurt just as much as it does with a significant other.) I’ll put it out there for everyone to know: I’m always going to be there for my friends, those closest to me, and even those who just seem like they need someone.
I’ve got little actual relationship experience, having only dated two people, and both instances were not fleeting puppy love that lasted for a little pinpoint in time, like many school-age relationships do. But, I do know a lot about what it feels like to lose a friend (actually, MANY friends – life has a tendency to send everything adrift in its ocean), have a family member die, endure heartbreak, be unwanted by those who should want you (*nods to my dad’s side of the family*), and struggle to fill the aching gaps left in the path of something tight-knit like a relationship or a friendship that fell to pieces. Granted, I know that not all things are meant to last. Even in my peculiar brain, I know that some people aren’t meant to be together, some friendships are bound to fizzle out, and not everyone in your family will love you (despite the common thought of “I love you. I have to love you because we’re family”). It is these icky trials and tests that make us human, define who we are, and force us to feel the entire range of emotion.
I’ve always had a sort of unwritten rule that goes along the lines of things said in confidence, in secrecy, or in private to a close friend, or lover (now that I’ve got a love bug of my own), should remain confidential, secret, or private even after there’s been a falling out or after the world finds a way to end the niceness of being close to someone. I honestly think that people shouldn’t go spurting out such things, even if you’re no longer friends or close together because it is just wrong to break the trust that was there. But, with this recent massive flood of relationships teetering and breaking apart I witness more and more instances of people saying horrible things, divulging top-secret tidbits, being slanderous, and even leaving behind all sense of morality just to stab someone they once loved in the back, to “get even” for being left behind. (I’ve got a whole other story involving my previous relationship on this topic, but that’s for another day.)
It truly saddens me to see people miserable after something like a breakup happens, and it irks me to know that some people can be so cruel as to shatter another person’s well-being with such harsh words… but I know it happens. I see it often.
Maybe it is just me, but I see this relationship bug infecting people particularly around the summer time. It might be because most of my buddies, pals, peers – whatever you want to call them – are still revolving around a school calendar. Every year as the summer creeps in and warms our skin, it seems like people take that opportunity to create close relationships, but also begin losing other ones, possibly due to the fact that people are moving away, going to a different school, seeking new employment, or whatever it may be. But, that’s just my little observation.
With all of that jibber-jabber being said, I am thankful to say that Josh and I have avoided this relationship bug and its viral tendencies, and we are contentedly happy and aren’t soiling each other with mud-slinging or broken hearts. It is a great thing to have someone to provide stability in this massive drifting ocean. I just hope everyone else can find that, even if it involves becoming the “crazy cat lady” (*nods to Mom and her love for her fur-babies*).
(Bonus reading, for you over-achievers.) I’ve even chatted with friends on facebook about the dreaded relationship bug. A gal-pal of mine noticed it, too, and made it her status and tried to console the masses while saying that it really isn’t the end of the world. And, another friend (the second little tale) was rather down about his recent breakup.
“Right there with you. So many of my friends have had their relationships fall apart this year. Josh and I have called it the relationship bug (or something like that) and have been questioning who is next. I can totally understand why some relationships go down the drain, and I can relate to there being scars and damage left in the wake. I even understand missing once in a while. But, I can't understand people doing some of the horrible things they do against their "partner" (for lack of a better, more encompassing word) after a break up or even during a relationship! I simply cannot fathom cheating on someone ... if it sucks that much, then break up, don't add salt to the wounds by going behind someone's back. I also can't imagine the horrible things people say/do to their once-upon-a-time lover after a breakup. Smearing their reputation, lying, telling secrets that were once said in confidence, all of that... It shocks me. Relationships are a thing of love and trust and connection. People shouldn't desecrate them so horrendously, during or after. And, no matter what, it's always okay to remember the good times, just don't let the bad times haunt or dwell too much on the good of the past that doesn't need brought back.”
“Having not been in your position, I can't say something like "I feel ya" or "I can relate." :/ But I do understand what it is like to have such a big piece of your life just fall away and it's weird functioning without that stability. It is hard to surpass the void left behind, but I'm sure you can handle it. You've got friends by your side to help. Now you live for you until you find something greater to live for (some find another person, some turn to religion, others delve into work... stuff like that)."
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